Latest episode
Season 1
Bloodroot's sweet sac!
Garden tea and a botanical deep dive into Bloodroot
Episode Notes
Jeannette has a vendetta against a tree. Meanwhile, Jonathan unearths a painful truth: sometimes slugs aren’t just destroying your hostas… they’re also wrecking your relationship.
Rose Butts & Queer Vibes
Digging up the queer tea
Episode Notes
Roses are red, but the history is unsurprisingly gay. Jeannette contemplates opening up her marriage (mainly to get out of doing dishes), while Jonathan reveals that not all thorns are created equal - every rose just has its prickle.
Primrose is Bi, Poly & Classy
Putting the booty in agricultural bootcamp.
Jeannette heads to agricultural bootcamp, Jonathan drags GMO propaganda, and a chewed-up bird sparks a hawk-related identity crisis. Meanwhile, primrose struts onto the scene kinky, poly, and radiating pure femme energy.
Note: the book on botany referred to is in fact 'A Gardeners Guide to Botany'.
Lavender & Chill
On our knees, in the dirt
Episode Notes
We relax with lavender, and talk about the different types and tips on growing your own. A new segment debuts! Fuck, Marry, Kill: Plant Edition. Take a peek at the connections between lavender, Jonathan and Jeannette’s astro birth charts.
Mulberry's Bush
Get that tarp out cuz it'll get messy
Episode Notes
In this episode Jonathan talks about the origins of the mulberry nursery rhyme and Jeannette finds out if it's a bush or a tree... Jonathan's pretty beans are a hit at happy hour and we read some devastating Garden Tea.
Skullcap the Nightmare Boo-tanical
Welcome to the bitching hour
Episode Notes
Our latest episode kicks off Spooky season and includes an uncomfortable conversation with an arborist. Jonathan brags about his nonna's smuggled plums from the old country. We read terrifying Garden Tea sent in by a listener and pronounce all the medicinal compounds
Witch Hazel: Broomsticks & Bottoms
Putting our backs into it - since the 80s.
Episode Notes
Jonathan complains about tiny melons and Jeannette has to decide which plant can fulfill her needs in F-M-K Plant Edition. We explore Witch Hazel and where it got its demonic name.
Pumpkin Gourds & Ouija Boards
As scary as we are slutty
Episode Notes
In this episode we get spooky as Jonathan plots garden revenge on his ex, we whisper to our dearly departed plants via an online Ouija Board, and divine the mysteries of the dormant season with tarot.
Cranberry Bogs & Buzz
Episode Notes
In this episode we learn about Jonathan’s secret life as an oil baron. Jeannette will leave the leaves, so everyone please just shut up about it. We find a new community garden character trope and ask big questions like: are you a Thanksgiving marshmallow family?
Winter Cutting: Houseplants
In this bonus winter cutting we talk about gardening indoors aka houseplants. We go into the origin and psychological grip they have on us. We ask, are there native houseplants and how prolific is the mall plant aesthetic? We discuss the problems you can run into when bringing the outdoors inside and why they may not be the great gift you think they are